World Views and Politics

Jesus didn't walk on water – coolj



Posts: 354
From: ny
Registered: 07-11-2004
Hooray!! Scientists have once again come to our rescue. For us weak simple minded Christians, they finally have the ultimate proof that Jesus was just a tricky trickster!!

Jesus Walked on Ice, Study Says


And in other soon-to-be-released news from the FSU science dept.:

With a 10 million dollar grant from the NAS, a research team at FSU believe they are getting close to discovering how Jesus feed 5000 people with just 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish.

Dr. Fulovitt, head of the science reseach department, says "We are very excited about our most recent discoveries. From the scientific data we have collected, we can confirm that Jesus most likely able to feed all those people with 2 fish by using them in a big seafood gumbo, probably mostly fish broth though, maybe couple hundred pounds of lobster and crab in there as well. Another possibility our team is considering is he could have made sushi. They didn't eat as much back then you know. Two fish might have made a lot of sushi."

When asked about the loaves of bread, Fulovitt had this to add, "Oh yeah..That was easy. We actually determined that during the first 2 days of scientific research right here in our own labs at FSU. You see, we put a slightly warmed uncooked loaf of bread dough right there on our lab table and we measured it. Next day we came in and measured it again and it had doubled in size! We figured that was a enough measuring so we tossed it. Besides we didn't want a mess on our hands - that dough was ooey gooey! Just used mathematical computations for the rest. We calculated with that thing doubling in size everyday we would have enough bread in 13 days to feed 5000 people. Since faculty here at FSU get their meals free, we decided we didn't need all that bread around! Only if we had some gumbo too.."