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20 Things That Never Happen in "Star Trek"
nick@lfcs.edinburgh.ac.uk (Nick Rothwell)
(funny)

(Article from Edinburgh University's MIDWEEK Student Magazine, by Graeme MacDonald.)

1. The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type it has encountered several times before.

2. The Enterprise goes to visit a remote outpost of scientists, who are all perfectly all right.

3. Some of the crew visit the holodeck, and it works properly.

4. The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new lifeform, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old lifeform wearing a funny hat.

5. The crew of the Enterprise are struck by a mysterious plague, for which the only cure can be found in the well-stocked Enterprise sick-bay.

6.The Captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people which is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime Directive.

7. The Enterprise successfully ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without serious incident.

8. An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface to the Enterprise's computer, only to find out that it has forgotten to bring the right leads.

9. A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent engineering staff.

10. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence which does not put them on trial.

11. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior alien intelligence which they easily pacify by offering it some sweeties.

12. The Enterprise visits an earth-type planet called "Paradise" where everyone is happy all of the time. However, everything is soon revealed to be exactly what it seems.

13. A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, but fortunately some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to everyone's satisfaction.

14. The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp experience which is in some way unconnected with the Late 20th Century.

15. Kirk (or Riker) falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits, and isn't tragically separated from her at the end of the episode.

16. Counsellor Troi states something other than the blindingly obvious.

17. The warp engines start playing up a bit, but seem to sort themselves out after a while without any intervention from boy genius Wesley Crusher.

18. Wesley Crusher gets beaten up by his classmates for being a smarmy git, and consequently has a go at making some friends of his own age for a change.

19. Spock (or Data) is fired from his high-ranking position for not being able to understand the most basic nuances of about one in three sentences that anyone says to him.

20. Most things that are new or in some way unexpected.

But we still love it, right kids?

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So if you were to write a star trek episode, how would you do it without making it cheesy and enertaining at the same time? (BTW, I love star trek but I find this funny).

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All Your Base Are Belong To Us!!! chown -r us ./base

``After three days without programming, life becomes meaningless.'' -- Tao of Programming Book 2

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[This message has been edited by lava (edited February 03, 2006).]

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1 Corinthians 15:58 So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and steady, always enthusiastic about the Lord’s work, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.

New Living Translation

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In the stock market, you must buy high and sell low...Wait! That's not right!
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Yes, I can be intelligent at times!!

great find

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--D-SIPL

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"One World. One Web. One Program." -Microsoft promotional advertisement
"Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Fuhrer!" -Adolf Hitler

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" I hat typos..." - gamer4christ
"TROOPER: umm... CyBob and BIL are fighting over whose dead." - Realm Master

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In the stock market, you must buy high and sell low...Wait! That's not right!
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Yes, I can be intelligent at times!!

quote:

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Originally posted by D-SIPL:
Gah sci-fi geeks :P. I hate Star Trek an all that Sc-Fi rubbish...

--D-SIPL

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It's ok if he doesn't like Sci-Fi, he's entitled to his opinion, he just can't expect help from the Vulcans or the Jedi, lol.

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In the stock market, you must buy high and sell low...Wait! That's not right!
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Yes, I can be intelligent at times!!

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" I hat typos..." - gamer4christ
"TROOPER: umm... CyBob and BIL are fighting over whose dead." - Realm Master

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haha, very funny list... i remember somethign like that about ANIME on Codersworkshop...

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yeah, im a little crazy

Blessed are those who suffer for doing what is right.
The kingdom of heaven belongs to them.-Matthew 5:10

PM ME YOUR DESCRIPTION OF ME! ILL PUT IT HERE!

Here's all the comments!

Your not really geeks btw

--D-SIPL

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"One World. One Web. One Program." -Microsoft promotional advertisement
"Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Fuhrer!" -Adolf Hitler

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" I hat typos..." - gamer4christ
"TROOPER: umm... CyBob and BIL are fighting over whose dead." - Realm Master

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yeah, im a little crazy

Blessed are those who suffer for doing what is right.
The kingdom of heaven belongs to them.-Matthew 5:10

PM ME YOUR DESCRIPTION OF ME! ILL PUT IT HERE!

Here's all the comments!

------------------
In the stock market, you must buy high and sell low...Wait! That's not right!
--------------
Yes, I can be intelligent at times!!

------------------

" I hat typos..." - gamer4christ
"TROOPER: umm... CyBob and BIL are fighting over whose dead." - Realm Master

[This message has been edited by questleader (edited February 28, 2006).]

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In the stock market, you must buy high and sell low...Wait! That's not right!
--------------
Yes, I can be intelligent at times!!

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yeah, im a little crazy

Blessed are those who suffer for doing what is right.
The kingdom of heaven belongs to them.-Matthew 5:10

PM ME YOUR DESCRIPTION OF ME! ILL PUT IT HERE!

Here's all the comments!

------------------
In the stock market, you must buy high and sell low...Wait! That's not right!
--------------
Yes, I can be intelligent at times!!

quote:

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Originally posted by D-SIPL:
Your not really geeks btw

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I am!!!

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All Your Base Are Belong To Us!!! chown -r us ./base

``After three days without programming, life becomes meaningless.'' -- Tao of Programming Book 2

geek ( P ) Pronunciation Key (gk)
n. Slang

A person regarded as foolish, inept, or clumsy. - not me
A person who is single-minded or accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits but is felt to be socially inept.

Well i'm far to social to be geek

--D-SIPL

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"One World. One Web. One Program." -Microsoft promotional advertisement
"Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Fuhrer!" -Adolf Hitler

computer geek - (Or "turbo nerd", "turbo geek") One who eats (computer) bugs for a living. One who fulfils all the dreariest negative stereotypes about hackers: an asocial, malodourous, pasty-faced monomaniac with all the personality of a cheese grater. The term cannot be used by outsiders without implied insult to all hackers; compare black-on-black usage of "nigger". A computer geek may be either a fundamentally clueless individual or a proto-hacker in larval stage.

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" I hat typos..." - gamer4christ
"TROOPER: umm... CyBob and BIL are fighting over whose dead." - Realm Master

quote:

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Originally posted by D-SIPL:
I always thought I was until i read the definition...

geek ( P ) Pronunciation Key (gk)
n. Slang

A person regarded as foolish, inept, or clumsy. - not me
A person who is single-minded or accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits but is felt to be socially inept.

---

Choose your definition:

http://www.catb.org/jargon/html/G/geek.html:
geek: n.

A person who has chosen concentration rather than conformity; one who pursues skill (especially technical skill) and imagination, not mainstream social acceptance. Geeks usually have a strong case of neophilia. Most geeks are adept with computers and treat hacker as a term of respect, but not all are hackers themselves — and some who are in fact hackers normally call themselves geeks anyway, because they (quite properly) regard ‘hacker’ as a label that should be bestowed by others rather than self-assumed.

One description accurately if a little breathlessly enumerates “gamers, ravers, science fiction fans, punks, perverts, programmers, nerds, subgenii, and trekkies. These are people who did not go to their high school proms, and many would be offended by the suggestion that they should have even wanted to.”

Originally, a geek was a carnival performer who bit the heads off chickens. (In early 20th-century Scotland a ‘geek’ was an immature coley, a type of fish.) Before about 1990 usage of this term was rather negative. Earlier versions of this lexicon defined a computer geek as one who eats (computer) bugs for a living — an asocial, malodorous, pasty-faced monomaniac with all the personality of a cheese grater. This is often still the way geeks are regarded by non-geeks, but as the mainstream culture becomes more dependent on technology and technical skill mainstream attitudes have tended to shift towards grudging respect. Correspondingly, there are now ‘geek pride’ festivals (the implied reference to ‘gay pride’ is not accidental).

See also propeller head, clustergeeking, geek out, wannabee, terminal junkie, spod, weenie, geek code, alpha geek.

So there you have it.

I choose:
A person who has chosen concentration rather than conformity; one who pursues skill (especially technical skill) and imagination, not mainstream social acceptance. Geeks usually have a strong case of neophilia. Most geeks are adept with computers and treat hacker as a term of respect, but not all are hackers themselves — and some who are in fact hackers normally call themselves geeks anyway, because they (quite properly) regard ‘hacker’ as a label that should be bestowed by others rather than self-assumed.

for defining me. (And yes, the term hacker was bestowed on me about 2 months ago).

I also have very little problem with peer pressure.

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All Your Base Are Belong To Us!!! chown -r us ./base

``After three days without programming, life becomes meaningless.'' -- Tao of Programming Book 2

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In the stock market, you must buy high and sell low...Wait! That's not right!
--------------
Yes, I can be intelligent at times!!

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http://www.jeremysouthard.org

quote:

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Originally posted by CPUFreak91:
Choose your definition:

http://www.catb.org/jargon/html/G/geek.html:
geek: n.

A person who has chosen concentration rather than conformity; one who pursues skill (especially technical skill) and imagination, not mainstream social acceptance. Geeks usually have a strong case of neophilia. Most geeks are adept with computers and treat hacker as a term of respect, but not all are hackers themselves — and some who are in fact hackers normally call themselves geeks anyway, because they (quite properly) regard ‘hacker’ as a label that should be bestowed by others rather than self-assumed.

One description accurately if a little breathlessly enumerates “gamers, ravers, science fiction fans, punks, perverts, programmers, nerds, subgenii, and trekkies. These are people who did not go to their high school proms, and many would be offended by the suggestion that they should have even wanted to.”

Originally, a geek was a carnival performer who bit the heads off chickens. (In early 20th-century Scotland a ‘geek’ was an immature coley, a type of fish.) Before about 1990 usage of this term was rather negative. Earlier versions of this lexicon defined a computer geek as one who eats (computer) bugs for a living — an asocial, malodorous, pasty-faced monomaniac with all the personality of a cheese grater. This is often still the way geeks are regarded by non-geeks, but as the mainstream culture becomes more dependent on technology and technical skill mainstream attitudes have tended to shift towards grudging respect. Correspondingly, there are now ‘geek pride’ festivals (the implied reference to ‘gay pride’ is not accidental).

See also propeller head, clustergeeking, geek out, wannabee, terminal junkie, spod, weenie, geek code, alpha geek.

So there you have it.

I choose:
A person who has chosen concentration rather than conformity; one who pursues skill (especially technical skill) and imagination, not mainstream social acceptance. Geeks usually have a strong case of neophilia. Most geeks are adept with computers and treat hacker as a term of respect, but not all are hackers themselves — and some who are in fact hackers normally call themselves geeks anyway, because they (quite properly) regard ‘hacker’ as a label that should be bestowed by others rather than self-assumed.

for defining me. (And yes, the term hacker was bestowed on me about 2 months ago).

I also have very little problem with peer pressure.

---

The term hacker and to be called a hacker is a strong term. I don't believe their are any true hackers about anymore. Richard Greenblatt, Bill Gosper and such folk they were real hackers, who else could teach themselves to write a FORTRAN compiler having never even used a pc... in a weekend. Thats true hackerism

--D-SIPL

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"One World. One Web. One Program." -Microsoft promotional advertisement
"Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Fuhrer!" -Adolf Hitler

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In the stock market, you must buy high and sell low...Wait! That's not right!
--------------
Yes, I can be intelligent at times!!

quote:

---

Originally posted by D-SIPL:
The term hacker and to be called a hacker is a strong term. I don't believe their are any true hackers about anymore. Richard Greenblatt, Bill Gosper and such folk they were real hackers, who else could teach themselves to write a FORTRAN compiler having never even used a pc... in a weekend. Thats true hackerism

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By today's standards though. I'm a hacklet. (I'm naively comparing myself to someone like Torvalds)

By today's standards it's hard to be an old fasioned hacker. But easy to hack, say a cell phone or an iPod.

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All Your Base Are Belong To Us!!! chown -r us ./base

``After three days without programming, life becomes meaningless.'' -- Tao of Programming Book 2

quote:

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Originally posted by CPUFreak91:
By today's standards though. I'm a hacklet. (I'm naively comparing myself to someone like Torvalds)

By today's standards it's hard to be an old fasioned hacker. But easy to hack, say a cell phone or an iPod.

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Torvalds isn't a hacker. Far from it, he's a bottle neck for Linux development. Torvalds is so over-rated. I don't think he has contributed to linux kernel source code for years. He just sits around deciding what features go in next and holding up the progress.

Linux should go with a more BSD style development model imo.

--D-SIPL

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"One World. One Web. One Program." -Microsoft promotional advertisement
"Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Fuhrer!" -Adolf Hitler

quote:

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Originally posted by D-SIPL:
Linux should go with a more BSD style development model imo.

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Well his previous hacking sparked other people to hack and made linux nice.
If you really want some feature... being GPLv2, you can hack it, adding a feature that Linus rejected.

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All Your Base Are Belong To Us!!! chown -r us ./base

``After three days without programming, life becomes meaningless.'' -- Tao of Programming Book 2

I wanted the $2899 USD Star Trek pacage with 212 Star Trek DVD's. Has everything they ever made!

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All Your Base Are Belong To Us!!! chown -r us ./base

``After three days without programming, life becomes meaningless.'' -- Tao of Programming Book 2