lostreflections Member Posts: 131 From: Registered: 05-29-2002 |
From now on, our Goddaughter, Maya, will be living with us and we will be raising her. This will be permanent. She is 2 1/2. I have already fallen in love with her. But I do not really know anything about children this young. We have four teenage daughters, but they were adopted and the youngest was 12 when we adopted her, so we really do not have any experience with little ones. If any of you have children, I am open to all the advice you would be willing to share. ------------------ Brice Lost Reflections -- When your life comes crumbling down around you, can you count on the one person who has never been there for you? Lost Reflections is a heart warming story of personal redemption and second chances. |
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nfektious Member Posts: 408 From: Registered: 10-25-2002 |
Wow, cool. I'm sure it's a shock to the system having grown kids then all of a sudden having a 2-1/2 year old to take care of. I have 2 kids myself with a new one on the way; the oldest is going on 3 and the youngest is going on 2! (yeah i'm a glutton for punishment  )The best thing you can do for a child is love them no matter what. Along side of that is to have patience with them. The most important thing is to have fun with the child and let the child be a child (a difficult thing to experience as a child these days, sadly). Under the circumstances you are now this child's teacher and mentor. I would advise you to be cautious of your own actions and reactions as a child of that age is very intelligent and capable of learning exampled behavior almost verbatim. I know this information is probably obvious; I don't mean to sound trite or anything of the sort. I don't know the specifics of how all this came about and how any experiences might have affected her. If you would like to chat more along private lines just let me know. I'm not an expert in child psychology or parenting; nobody is. But I am happy to help and/or give advice/suggestion if asked. |
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lostreflections Member Posts: 131 From: Registered: 05-29-2002 |
quote: I think that would help, can I drop you an email? ------------------ Brice Lost Reflections -- When your life comes crumbling down around you, can you count on the one person who has never been there for you? Lost Reflections is a heart warming story of personal redemption and second chances. |
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nfektious Member Posts: 408 From: Registered: 10-25-2002 |
... [This message has been edited by Nfektious (edited November 26, 2002).] |
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MeanManInOz Member Posts: 388 From: Hobart, Tasmania, Australia Registered: 06-26-2001 |
quote: You adopted teenage girls ? You are well and truly brave enough to tackle a 3 year old !!!
quote: OK, I'd be glad to. The core things to remember IMO are that this child's adult life will largely be shaped by you, and that it's your responsibility to turn her into an adult who can successfully function in society. What this means is pretty much what the Bible says. You need both to love her, and to chastise her, to praise and encourage her when she does well, and to chastise her when she does something wrong. I have two kids, one 6 and one 2, and I think the secret to the closeless of my relationship with both is that I've always made myself an integral part of their lives. As well as smacking when necessary, I seek to spend time playing games, going to the park, etc. Above all, remember she is watching you all the time. I would hope it goes without saying in a Christian forum, but nevertheless, if you say one thing and do another, she won't take long to cotton on. I've never had a teenage child ( not yet ), but my two little ones are without a doubt the greatest source of joy in my life apart from God Himself. The biggest traps you can fall into are letting their cuteness mean they get away with things, and falling for the lie the world teaches, that it is bad to discipline your child. In my house, wrong behaviour, which has been identified as wrong before, results in a smack, some time to thing it over and a discussion of what was wrong and how to do better in the future. My kids have responded well to that, much better than I did to my parents, who just angrily smacked me until they were sick of it. The Bible says to discipline your child, but also to not bring them to despair. It goes without saying that you also need to love your child with everything you've got. |
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lostreflections Member Posts: 131 From: Registered: 05-29-2002 |
quote:
Sounds like you and I had the same parents. I am afraid I am a big softie. With our teens we have never really had to discipline them. However with a 2 1/2 year old that is inevitable. I agree with your outlook on discipline. I have never seen anything wrong with smacking or spanking a child as long as no marks are left. In all honesty, I would probably be more apt to spank a male child than a female child. However, early in out marriage I was very physically abusive to my wife. For me, it would not be wise for me to ever spank of slap my child. I would have to find other forms of punishment. I try to be a hands on Dad. I spend a lot of quality time with my wife & kids. And I also take each daughter out once a week for 1-on-1 time and we do whatever they want and then go to dinner. Sometimes its shopping and dinner, a movie and dinner, hiking in a state park and dinner, sitting at the river and talking and dinner, you get the idea. ------------------ Brice Lost Reflections -- When your life comes crumbling down around you, can you count on the one person who has never been there for you? Lost Reflections is a heart warming story of personal redemption and second chances. |
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MeanManInOz Member Posts: 388 From: Hobart, Tasmania, Australia Registered: 06-26-2001 |
quote: *grin* I think a lot of people did.
quote: Yes, I know. I am the same, and Donna was worried I would not participate in discipline. The funny thing is, because I spend so much time playing with Hannah she actually percieves that Donna smacks her more, when the reverse is true.....
quote: It's very brave of you to admit that. I don't think I'd be pedantic about punishment being physical. Some kids respond better to time out than they do to being smacked. The point is just to ensure that whatever punishment is chosen is understood by the child and is not excessive in terms of it's effect on them either.
quote: Yes, I do that stuff with Hannah now. Once a month we go out somewhere together. We've been away overnight once, but usually just for the day, just the two of us. That's the sort of stuff I mean, it's incredibly rewarding and I don't think I ever feel taller than when I'm walking through the city holding my daughters hand and talking to her. |
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lostreflections Member Posts: 131 From: Registered: 05-29-2002 |
quote: ------------------ Brice Lost Reflections -- When your life comes crumbling down around you, can you count on the one person who has never been there for you? Lost Reflections is a heart warming story of personal redemption and second chances. |
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nfektious Member Posts: 408 From: Registered: 10-25-2002 |
... [This message has been edited by Nfektious (edited November 26, 2002).] |
