Intro: I think that most children are taught to not write with the personalize "I" in their writings because its considered egotistical and boring.

I later noticed once that the person addressing me kept saying "you", "you don't want to do this because you don't want to be stupid". However, I was having trouble relating to it. I suddenly realized that the person was actually talking about himself.

From that point forward, I started to notice that when people are forced to talk about highly personal and embarrassing situation, they tend to start saying "you", even though you know they are talking about themselves.

I realized that the person could have easily said "I", but of course maybe the topic is too painful or too personal. I can't say for sure. I started to speculate that most people tend to be extroverted. In other words, they tend to look to causes-outside-of-themselves.

In the case of above person, he seemed to refuse to look at himself for any causes, or, like causes-and-effects in his life. Personally, I tend to look inside first, then outside next in order to discover causes which are effecting my life.

So, I started getting in the habit of saying "I", when I talked about personal experiences. Interestingly enough, there was this Egyptian who ran the United Nations. He would constantly say "I", when he was talking. Suddenly, he would remember, then start saying "we".

Best wishes,

St. Cheez

I think (notice the "I" in this statement - he he) that when we talk about a topic that is emotionally charged for us, we naturally wish to externalize it so that we can gain some control as we express the experience.

When I talk about something that is very personal to me, I find that the internal emotions that go through me as I am reliving the experience, those emotions get in the way of mu communication. Whereas if I extenalize the experience and talk about it in the third person, it does not have the same intense effect on my emotions.

Though I must admit, I haven't seen this experience to often in writing (mostly just in verbal communiation)

Revelator!

As far as spoken language, what came to mind when I read this was the tried and true approach of "I have a friend." The one were you immediately assume it is the speaker when they say it that way (or at least situational comedies do). So, "I have a friend that suffered x as a consequence of choosing y."

The danger in using "you" is that you can quickly lose your listener. For example, "You shouldn't be sinning so much." Unless you really know that person, they may just walk off. If you can't bring yourself to use "I" then go ahead and make it third person "one".

Personally, I usually can muster the strength for an "I" approach.

-Tim

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Called by God. The passioned plea of a father. The journey awaits at Jarod Journey's Web site.

For instance, lets say I got in an argument with someone. Normally, I would focus on the other person and the argument. However, I later realized that sometimes I would get irratible and angry, because I may be hungry/thirsty, did not have enought sleep, or was in physical pain, etc. The causes really had nothing to do with the other person at all.

Sometimes people would say things to me, and I would get real sad and depressed, and in general felt really weak. I later learned that the may cause for my emotional feelings of weakness was lack of sleep. No kidding. So, as soon as I got enough sleep, nothing seemed to bother me... well to a degree.

Yup, so usually, I search within for causes, then search without, and alot of times the truth seems to lie somewhere inbetween.

Best wishes,

St. Cheez

St. Cheez

I used to read the bible and see the Pharisees as the enemy. Then one day it occured to me that I identified with the Pharisees, and when Jesus was saying "Woe" to them in Matthew 23 - he was talking directly to me.

Boy, was that a powerful lesson that God taught me.

St. Cheez