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Apple of Your Eye.
Christian Entertainment

If you looked at my post just ahead of yours in this forum, and listened to the recording that I linked in, then you know that I am in a rough patch myself. Now, I'm not trying to say that it is as difficult as yours. I don't know what it is to deal with serious mental illness. I do know that after I hit the troubles of the day, and got online to request prayer and help, I actually fell asleep. It reminds me of the passage in Acts, in which Peter has been thrown in prison with the intent of the ruler being to put him to death the next day. He is chained to two guards, and there are also guards at every stage of the prison to make sure that he doesn't get away, but God sent a angel to take Peter out of that prison. When the angel got to him, he had to hit Peter to wake him up. His life was on the line, and Peter was so peaceful that he was deeply sound asleep. His confidence was not in himself or what he was going to do. There was nothing that he could do. His confidence was in the Lord, and that confidence had him so much at peace with the impossible situation that he was just dead to the world in sleep. If we depend only upon the LORD that is the kind of peace that you and I can have. You can also have confidence that—if you depend only upon the LORD and not upon yourself—there is nothing in this universe that cannot be accomplished—because in that case it is the LORD who is doing it, and there is nothing that He cannot do.

This is a word also to me in my own difficulty: to lay our troubles upon his back; give the burden over to Him, having full confidence in Him that He will accomplish His will, and that “all things work together for the good of those who love the LORD, who are the called according to His purpose.” It is a promise in the Scripture to those of us who are indeed His own, for He will not lose any of His own, but will keep each and every one of them to the glory of God the Father.

Don't give up on Him, and don't continue to give in to your particular weakness, but give that burden over to the LORD, staying close under His wing, within the shadow of His wings, for in that place sin cannot dwell, but only the righteousness of God, even Jesus Christ, to whom even the doubter exclaimed, “My Lord and my God!”

May His peace be upon both of us as His providence delivers us out of the hand of the wicked one, keeping us under His mighty hand to keep and to comfort for the glory of God the Father. Amen.

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Never Forget to Pray!

"...prayer itself is an art which only the Holy Ghost can teach us. He is the giver of all prayer. Pray for prayer---pray till you can pray; pray to be helped to pray, and give not up praying because you cannot pray, for it is when you think you cannot pray that you are most praying. Sometimes when you have no sort of comfort in your supplications, it is then that your heart---all broken and cast down---is really wrestling and truly prevailing with the Most High."
Charles Haddon Spurgeon, from the pamphlet, "Effective Prayer"

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Apple of Your Eye.
Christian Entertainment

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Apple of Your Eye.
Christian Entertainment

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Visit my portfolio (and check out my projects):
http://Jestermax.googlepages.com/

quote:

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Originally posted by andy_aoye:
But even still for some reason I just dont want to read the bible. and I dont want to pray. and I dont know why, I could use prayer or advice on these if anyone could help.

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I used to not want to pray or read the Bible. I got so fed up with the way my life was that I went after God asking him to change me. After I was willing to change, I found praying and reading the Bible, not only interesting, but also spiritually satisfying. Find your weakest point, and ask God to help you overcome it. I'm not sure how you might apply that to yourself, but I hope and pray that you will get some use out of it.

By the way, may I also suggesting listening to Ravi Zacharias' Podcasts? You can find them at http://rzim.org/radio/ Just listenting to them every day blesses me greatly.

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All Your Base Are Belong To Us!!! chown -r us ./base
"After three days without programming, life becomes meaningless.'' -- Tao of Programming Book 2

"Oh, bother," said the Borg. "We've assimilated Pooh."

"Socialism works great... if there are no people involved." -- Pastor David Ginter, Union Church of Guatemala.

My Programming and Hacker/Geek related Blog

[This message has been edited by CPUFreak91 (edited June 03, 2007).]

[This message has been edited by CPUFreak91 (edited June 03, 2007).]

quote:

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Originally posted by CPUFreak91:
Find your weakest point, and ask God to help you overcome it. I'm not sure how you might apply that to yourself, but I hope and pray that you will get some use out of it.

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Basically we are talking about drug use, this is something referred to in the bible as:

Thayer's Greek Definitions
pharmakeia (Strong's #G5331)
the use or the administering of drugs
poisoning
sorcery, magical arts, often found in connection with idolatry and fostered by it
metaphorically the deceptions and seductions of idolatry
Part of Speech: noun feminine
A Related Word by Thayer’s/Strong’s Number: from G5332

Pharmakeia is where we get the word pharmacy, simply relating to drugs but some good while others for different uses. In this case drugs used in a recreational manor (and religious/occult practices as well), but still retaining all damaging consequences such as:

(review passages in context, turn to: )
Rev 9:21 21 And they did not repent of their murders or their sorceries [pharmakeia]

Rev 18:23 The light of a lamp shall not shine in you anymore, and the voice of bridegroom and bride shall not be heard in you anymore. For your merchants were the great men of the earth, for by your sorcery [pharmakeia] all the nations were deceived.

Galatians 5:19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery [pharmakeia], hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Yes, damaging to our relationship with God, He simply does not like it and for good reason. It is destructive. I know, been there long ago and would never go back, would rather take a bullet in the head. I lost friends to drugs, acquaintances as well as family. It changes the mind, dulls life and makes one loose the desire for life at some point. Risks will become easy as the heart grows colder and colder. Depression, paranoia, schizophrenia, disease, bodily decay, all a result of using drugs and marijuana is no less dangerous than others on many levels.

http://www.webmd.com/balance/news/20021121/pot-may-cause-depression-schizophrenia

So stop it and things will clear up in time, you will regain your sanity and acquire a rejuvenated aspect of a life worth living.

Gal 5:13 For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.

What I wanted to say you is that your sin is paid in Jesus' blood but the sin can still cause us to suffer making it impossible live in spirit if we live for the flesh only. So let God save you, don't try to do anything from your own strength but always remember that the work is finished in Jesus.

I hope this advice is a blessing, I too want to minimize serving of flesh in order to serve God and sometimes it's depressing because it's not easy to sanctify this body as a temple for the Lord. But we must just remember that God loves us so much that He always suffers us.

In Christ,
Jari.

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Apple of Your Eye.
Christian Entertainment

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WHO I AM IN CHRIST - From The Bondage Breaker by Neil T. Anderson

I AM ACCEPTED:

I am God's Child
John [1:12] But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:

I am Christ's Friend
John [15:15] Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.

I have been justified
Romans [5:1] Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ

I am united with the Lord and one with Him in spirit
1 Corinthians [6:17] But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit

I have been brought with a price -- I belong to God
1 Corinthians [6:20] For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

I am a member of Christ's body
1 Corinthians [12:27] Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.

I am a saint
Ephesians [1:1] Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, to the saints which are at Ephesus, and to the faithful in Christ Jesus:

I have been adopted as God's child
Ephesians [1:5] Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will,

I have direct access to God thru the Holy Spirit
Ephesians [2:18] For through him we both have access by one Spirit unto the Father

I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins
Colossians [1:14] In whom we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins.

I am complete in Christ
Colossians [2:10] And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power:

I AM SECURE:

I am free from condemnation
Romans [8:1] There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
Romans [8:2] For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.

I am assured that all things work together for good
Romans [8:28] And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose.

I am free of any condemning charges against me
Romans [8:31] What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?
Romans [8:32] He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?
Romans [8:33] Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth.
Romans [8:34] Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.

I cannot be seperated from the love of God
Romans [8:35] Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
Romans [8:36] As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.
Romans [8:37] Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
Romans [8:38] For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
Romans [8:39] Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I have been established, anointed, and sealed by God
2 Corinthians [1:21] Now he which establisheth us with you in Christ, and hath anointed us, is God;
2 Corinthians [1:22] Who hath also sealed us, and given the earnest of the Spirit in our hearts.

I am hidden with Christ in God
Colossians [3:3] For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.

I am confident that the good work that God has begun in me will be perfected
Philippians [1:6] Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:

I am a citizen of Heaven
Philippians [3:20] For our conversation is in heaven; from whence also we look for the Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ:

I have not been given the spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.
2 Timothy [1:7] For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

I can find grace and mercy in time of need
Hebrews [4:16] Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me
1 John [5:18] We know that whosoever is born of God sinneth not; but he that is begotten of God keepeth himself, and that wicked one toucheth him not.

I AM SIGNIFICANT:

I am the salt and light of the earth
Matthew [5:13] Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.

I am a branch of the True Vine, a channel of His life
John [15:1] I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman.
John [15:5] I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit
John [15:16] Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you.

I am a personal witness of Christs'
Acts [1:8] But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth.

I am God's temple
1 Corinthians [3:16] Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?

I am a minister of reconcillation
2 Corinthians [5:17] Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.
2 Corinthians [5:18] And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;
2 Corinthians [5:19] To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation.
2 Corinthians [5:20] Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christ's stead, be ye reconciled to God.

I am God's co-worker
2 Corinthians [6:1] We then, as workers together with him, beseech you also that ye receive not the grace of God in vain.

I am seated with Christ in the heavenly realm
Ephesians [2:6] And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus:

I am God's workmanship
Ephesians [2:10] For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

I may approach God with freedom and confidence
Ephesians [3:12] In whom we have boldness and access with confidence by the faith of him.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me
Philippians [4:13] I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

===
God Jehovah bless you during this time of trials that you are going thru. With the help of Jesus, you can make it thru this. Lean on Him, read the Bible daily, and pray a lot.

RifleFire

quote:

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Originally posted by jari:
Of course you cannot pray because the sin is ruling over your body

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God will even hear the Repentitive prayers of the unsaved if they are turning to Him, how much more does He listen to His own that are struggling with something and trying to figure out how to walk in the power of the Holy Spirit that such prayers are a catalyst of. Through the Spirit we pray, we are sealed with the Spirit of God.

The true problem regarding God not hearing the prayers of his own Children (those that are Christians) are those that simply don’t pray (which may be what you are meaning, Jari). Satan would love to stop us from praying, so when we are struggling to overcome something (and who does not struggle with something at some point?) it is better to pray even harder and have no thought that God is not listening, He is listening… and so much more.

John 3:17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. 18 “He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

Hebrews 8:12 For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.”

Hebrews 4:16 Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Psalms 145:18 The LORD is near to all who call upon Him, To all who call upon Him in truth. 19 He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him; He also will hear their cry and save them.

quote:

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The Christian life is not a constant high. I have my moments of deep discouragement. I have to go to God in prayer with tears in my eyes, and say, 'O God, forgive me,' or 'Help me.' --Billy Graham

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[This message has been edited by Faith_Warrior (edited June 03, 2007).]

This sounds like bad times. I don't have a lot of first hand experience with suicidal thoughts, but it looks like you've got some quality advice from the folks here already.

As such, I just want to take a moment to pray for you.

God, I want to lift Andy up to You right now. God, You know how much trouble he has right now, and I ask You to help him in his hard times. Please, just be with him and give him the hope of Your love. Do not let him fall away because he can't sense You. Please, bring divine intervention to his situation. Please, be at work here.

In Jesus Name, Amen.

I'll be praying for you, Andy.

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Portal with information on my programming projects and links to my other work

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith_Warrior:
The true problem regarding God not hearing the prayers of his own Children (those that are Christians) are those that simply don’t pray (which may be what you are meaning, Jari).

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Yes I believe God will always hear them who fear Him which means us who believe in Him through Jesus.

In case someone wonders the "fear of the Lord" phrase, that's not terror like fear but it's about respect and in fact love (we want to submit to Him instead of being afraid of any man because He loves us and says He will keep us).

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Psa 32:5 I acknowledged my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the LORD; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah.

[VoHW] (Help needed) [Blog] - Truedisciple (mp3)

We pray that you are with Andy and others facing similar circumstances. We ask for your healing hand and that you fill their hearts with your love.

In Jesus' name.
Amen

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Called by God. The passioned plea of a father. The journey awaits at Jarod's Journey.
Participate in the Parables, The Interactive Parables

GWI 1up | GWI MySpace

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God bless you all.

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Apple of Your Eye.
Christian Entertainment

Find yourself a church where you can talk to people. When a person does not have their mind, they can only rely on what others tell them. It is good that you have come to this site to ask for help. Also, get involved with Christians in your area.

Maybe you were involved in a church, but they offended you or told you to leave because of your problems. But you can find another church.

God says that his people perish for lack of knowledge. The only way to get the knowledge that will give life is to read the Bible. Fellowshipping with other Christians will help you to read the Bible and pray. If you don't do these things, you will continue to perish. I hope that you do not perish, but God will send you the people you need in order to pull you and your wife out of this pit you are in.

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~~~boogie woogie woogie~~~

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith_Warrior:
Ummm haw about not smoking pot any longer? Seems like a good plan to me. Lets see, person smokes pot, becomes suicidal, maybe there is a link?

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Ah right. I forgot he mentioned pot. Had I paid more attention my answer would probably have made a little more sense .

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All Your Base Are Belong To Us!!! chown -r us ./base
"After three days without programming, life becomes meaningless.'' -- Tao of Programming Book 2

"Oh, bother," said the Borg. "We've assimilated Pooh."

"Socialism works great... if there are no people involved." -- Pastor David Ginter, Union Church of Guatemala.

My Programming and Hacker/Geek related Blog

Now, I know what they say and I've heard it before. Marijuana is only a "recreational" drug and is non-hallucingenic. Well, that's a lot of bull man!

About Pot:
From my direct personal experience, I can say for sure that POT affects people differently. BEFORE I got into the occult and started seeing and talking to demons, then POT did nothing but get me hungry. ---> It did nothing!

But, AFTER I got into the occult and went to a friends house and smoked it, then I started hearing voices! Voices that I heard very loud and said:

--> WE ARE GOING TO KILL YOU! YOU'RE GONNA DIE RANDY

And guess what? I started running around in that apartment complex shouting HELP ME SOMEBODY! I'M GONNA DIE! HELP!

Now, let me say that POT never did this to me before, so I know it is dependant on a persons spiritual condition.

Needless to say, I never smoked the stuff after that.

Okay, so stop smoking it! Because, your schitafreena <spelling> is directly related to it man! Don't let them win. This is no game.
I'm not joking. I was so scared of spirits. Because how can a person fight them? What punch or kick them? no That can work well on humans, but not for spiritual creatures.

I don't see, hear, nor talk to them since 1982, because GOD helped me get rid of them, but they are hard to leave and will not leave easily. I know how it goes. They don't wanna leave.

STOP WITH THE POT PLEASE

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God said to Noah, "The end of all living beings has come before me, for because of them the earth is filled with violence. I will destroy them along with the earth.
Genesis 6:13

[This message has been edited by RA Games (edited June 08, 2007).]

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Apple of Your Eye.
Christian Entertainment

Is that what is happening?

Let me tell you something, I used to hear them and SEE them also! I also FELT them as they changed temperature on one occasion. This stuff is real, don't think it is not.
I was the ultimate pyscho maybe? lol

When Jesus in the bible, cast out demons into pigs in the NT, then was Jesus also crazy? Some Christians just gloss over this stuff. Hey, it's in the bible, then they ought to be believing it.

THE BIBLE IS NOT FAIRY TALES PEOPLE! SHEESH...

I have visited insane assylums for crazy people.
These patients can see REAL invisible stuff, just like I used to see.
But, the ignorant doctors just discount the supernatural and shoot em up full of drugs.

Who is right therefore? The patients seeing the stuff or the ignorant doctors? I don't know.

Are you hearing voices? Just wondering.

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God said to Noah, "The end of all living beings has come before me, for because of them the earth is filled with violence. I will destroy them along with the earth.
Genesis 6:13

Christians hear them.
I did hear a voice when I made this song below. Click on this link below.

http://www.noahsadventures.com/downloads/come.mp3

In the middle section of the song, you will notice that the singer and the music stops and the singer says:
COME AND PRAISE HIM - LET'S PRAISE THE LORD - YOU'VE GOT TO PRAISE THE LORD!

Okay, well guess what? I did not plan on doing that. I heard a voice tell me WAIT! I WANT TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT WITH THIS SONG. WAIT! So, the idea came and I put it in. It's probably the best moment of the song.

But, hearing voices in the supernatural is a complicated subject.
Demons, tend desire to hijack your personality. Their ideas can come in to your brain in an outright "intimidating" manner. In fact, if they lay a claim to someone, then they try to take over a person most of the time. Then your own thoughts are conflicting with that of the other presence.

God's angels, in contrast, are not intimidating like that. They are gentle. They don't bust out your brain like the other side does.

Just remember this. If you get thoughts of suicide, then it's not from GOD, but from the evil one. Don't ever obey or entertain any thought like this. It may be indeed spiritual, yes, but it's not of God.

Goodbye.

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God said to Noah, "The end of all living beings has come before me, for because of them the earth is filled with violence. I will destroy them along with the earth.
Genesis 6:13

The final time I contemplated suicide I heard the whispers of a demon and later felt the coldest feeling I have ever felt. Demons are very real and unfortunately there a lot of people who seek demons and seek to hear "supernatural" voices and go through "supernatural" experiences that reinforce our societies concept of them not being real. In truth demons often come and speak to you when you aren't looking for them... when I was on the brink of attempting suicide again (much older and could effictively complete the task) I heard a demon call my name that brought me ever so close to the edge. Later that night, after I resisted the urges and pushed passed the immediate siutation, that same demon sent a feeling through my core like I had never felt before... a feeling of such helplessness and physical coldness. I can't explain it, I still have never felt a physical and spiritual experience that dreadful. I never will again either, because I now realize that they fear our faith in the Lord. I'll also note that I have never smoked, injected, or taken any form of illegal drug and even am wary of the legal kinds.

One thing to keep in mind is suicide is the ultimate act of selfishness. At one point I was fully set and dedicated and in my mind commited this ultimate act of selfishness. Forgiving myself so I could then accept the forgiveness of the Lord was not easy.

It is the ultimate act of selfishness because you are an important person. You have a purpose, you have people who love and care about you and people you love and care about (and are meant to). Even furthermore God didn't give you life and forgive you to re-give it to you so you could throw it away.

Contemplation of suicide for me was accepting God's forgiveness but not forgiving myself. Remember, how can you truly love and forgive others until you can love and forgive yourself.

Many of us get the simplest of things mixed up, the path to doing productive things for yourself and bettering yourself. Often we think we must do things to then be happy with ourselves... when in fact it is quite the opposite, we stabalize ourself and become happy with ourselves and then better ourselves. To accomplish this you must accept yourself... this includes the faults and every single aspect you hate and despise. You must forgive yourself to do this and once you do that you truly can experience the Lord's forgiveness. Once you do this you must change the state of your mind, you must pray for the Lord's wisdom and guidance and follow it up with action and effort. Once you can be in a state of mind in which you are a happy with yourself, that even though you are freshly out of doing things you know you shouldn't be, that you are setting yourself to be better, to improve yourself. That you accept your flaws and are ready to improve them. This is when you gain true insight and happiness with yourself and once you are at that point bettering yourself and fighting off these things comes naturally. From here you can begin your walk in the Lord, a personal relationship that is unique to you and the Lord.

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Matthew Langley
Lead Documentation Engineer
GarageGames

Thank you for being alive and helping us all.

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God said to Noah, "The end of all living beings has come before me, for because of them the earth is filled with violence. I will destroy them along with the earth.
Genesis 6:13

quote:

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Originally posted by Matt Langley:
I attempted suicide once and nearly attempted it multiple times after. During that time of my life I was deeply depressed and a masochist. I was also a strong beleiver in Jesus even during this time.

The final time I contemplated suicide I heard the whispers of a demon and later felt the coldest feeling I have ever felt. Demons are very real and unfortunately there a lot of people who seek demons and seek to hear "supernatural" voices and go through "supernatural" experiences that reinforce our societies concept of them not being real. In truth demons often come and speak to you when you aren't looking for them... when I was on the brink of attempting suicide again (much older and could effictively complete the task) I heard a demon call my name that brought me ever so close to the edge. Later that night, after I resisted the urges and pushed passed the immediate siutation, that same demon sent a feeling through my core like I had never felt before... a feeling of such helplessness and physical coldness. I can't explain it, I still have never felt a physical and spiritual experience that dreadful. I never will again either, because I now realize that they fear our faith in the Lord. I'll also note that I have never smoked, injected, or taken any form of illegal drug and even am wary of the legal kinds.

One thing to keep in mind is suicide is the ultimate act of selfishness. At one point I was fully set and dedicated and in my mind commited this ultimate act of selfishness. Forgiving myself so I could then accept the forgiveness of the Lord was not easy.

It is the ultimate act of selfishness because you are an important person. You have a purpose, you have people who love and care about you and people you love and care about (and are meant to). Even furthermore God didn't give you life and forgive you to re-give it to you so you could throw it away.

Contemplation of suicide for me was accepting God's forgiveness but not forgiving myself. Remember, how can you truly love and forgive others until you can love and forgive yourself.

Many of us get the simplest of things mixed up, the path to doing productive things for yourself and bettering yourself. Often we think we must do things to then be happy with ourselves... when in fact it is quite the opposite, we stabalize ourself and become happy with ourselves and then better ourselves. To accomplish this you must accept yourself... this includes the faults and every single aspect you hate and despise. You must forgive yourself to do this and once you do that you truly can experience the Lord's forgiveness. Once you do this you must change the state of your mind, you must pray for the Lord's wisdom and guidance and follow it up with action and effort. Once you can be in a state of mind in which you are a happy with yourself, that even though you are freshly out of doing things you know you shouldn't be, that you are setting yourself to be better, to improve yourself. That you accept your flaws and are ready to improve them. This is when you gain true insight and happiness with yourself and once you are at that point bettering yourself and fighting off these things comes naturally. From here you can begin your walk in the Lord, a personal relationship that is unique to you and the Lord.

---

Phenominal post my man---still going through that stuff myself--not necessarily suicide (contemplated a lot when I was younger--which is weird to say since I am only 23 but whatever) but I have a hard time accepting myself and valuing myself and it is cool to see someone else went through it and had valuable advice for it---plus it takes a lot of cahones to talk about your troubles you've had much props for that!

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