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Adam Hass Junior Member Posts: 3 From: Orion, IL, USA Registered: 09-15-2001 |
Hey Guys, Most of you probably do not know who I am, but that doesn't matter. I just need some good help from fellow Chrisitans and some scriptures to read concerning my predicament. But to understand my problem, you have to get a little background. For two years, 8th Grade and 9th. I went to a private school with my brother, who is now 13, my sister, 17 and me, i'm 15. Now we were just fine their, i played soccer and basketball. my sister did cheereladering. now this year, my sophmore, my sisters junior year. We decided to go to public school, i wanted more computer classes, she wanted more friends. I did soccer, and she was a cheerleader. Now, over a couple months she started drinking and partying. I drover her home while she was drunk once, 'i didn't have my licesnse' and didn't tell my parents. I never did, i figured it wasn't my place to judge cause i had my share of faults and i felt like god had a better plan for it, i prayed he did. now a couple months later, i got along just fine with my sister, we always did even though she was like really popular, and i was just 'normal' or semi-popular people. Now new years rolled around, and my sister called my parents and told them she was moving out because she wanted to party and my parents wouldn't let her do waht she wanted. So i had to go pick her car up where she left it with my dad and other stuff. Now i just really don't know how to deal with this. and neither do my parents. My dad is the youth leader at my church and i know that this can be embarresing for him. Please give me some guidance, i have no idea where she is, and i don't know if she's safe or anything. I know this is a really personal issue but i know their has to be someone somewhere who has gone through somethin similar to this and can help me. If you do not want to respond directly you can email me ets@adtechbiz.com or chat on msn hass_86@hotmail.com In Christ, Adam Hass |
Mack Administrator Posts: 2779 From: Registered: 01-20-2001 |
I'm afriad the only thing you can really do is pray if talking to her about the subject either starts a fight or she doesn't care. Throwing Bible verses at her probably will just make her mad. God gave us the ability to make choices, we're not robots. Unfourtunatly your sister has chosen this path and only she can make the choice in order to leave this lifestyle. It could take weeks, months or even years, just keep on praying for her and be her friend and try and influnce her. I believe the only thing she wishes is acceptance and shes fallen into the wrong crowd. I wish all the best for you both and don't give up. |
rowanseymour Member Posts: 284 From: Belfast, Northern Ireland Registered: 02-10-2001 |
I have a little sister aged 18 who is at university at the moment. She hasn't believed in God since one of her best friends died a few years ago. From what I hear (I am in USA at the mo - she's home in Ireland) she is out partying and drinking every night. I can't tell you how much I worry about her. Its taken me a long time to realise that all I can do is pray for her continually - that God would keep her safe and touch her heart - and be a loving big brother to her. That and I always tell her how much God loves her - that never hurts :-) ------------------ |
Klumsy Administrator Posts: 1061 From: Port Angeles, WA, USA Registered: 10-25-2001 |
i have a little sister too, she is 15 and in with the wrong crowd, plus has many heart issues to deal with, having grown up with an angry father and absent mother (because my mother left because of severe abuse, and was restricted from seeing her children)... anyhow.. i look at peoples lives and it makes me cry. because it doesn't have to be that way. as others have said the biggest thing we can do is pray.. its hard to talk with my sister because there is 10 years age difference between us, but thankfully when i got married, my wife has been able to befriend my sister and help her.. another good thing is she has aggreed to come to parachute this year with us (if you don't know what i am talking about go to http://www.parachutemusic.com/ )... Karl ------------------ |
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Owen Member Posts: 22 From: Poulsbo, Wa. US Registered: 01-04-2002 |
Prayer is the #1 thing you can do. You should also pray for yourself and your family. The only other thing you can really do is tell her how you feel and that you care about her (in an non-argumenative non-condemning way). Most of all as others have said pray pray pray. Prayer cannot be stressed enough. ------------------ |
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MeanManInOz Member Posts: 388 From: Hobart, Tasmania, Australia Registered: 06-26-2001 |
Let me preface this by saying I hate this forum software - I just lost a lengthy reply for reasons unknown to me and I can't restore it ( usually in a forum if it clears I can hit back, but not this time ). My dad is the youth leader at my church and i know that this can be embarresing for him. Please, please tell me that no-one in your family is regarding this as an issue. I am a father and a house group leader, and I can tell you that I would not consider for one moment the possibility that any narrow minded person would think less of me because of my childrens failing in responding to a situation like this. Nothing except my relationship with God comes before my care for my children, and in this situation, it is HER relationship with God, not mine, that would be in question. Please give me some guidance, i have no idea where she is, and i don't know if she's safe or anything. Let me preface this by saying that my position is that Christians do not drink alcohol at all, nor do they attend worldly parties at all, to ensure their testimony is not under question. Having said that, most of the teenage world drinks and parties. Assuming your sister is a Christian ( as opposed to someone who believes/has believed in God ), then her spiritual life is obvious in a shambles, but the odds of her coming to physical harm are realistically pretty remote. The best thing you can do is to be supportive of HER while letting her know your concern and that you regret her current choices. The WORST thing you can do is Bible bash her, or call her a sinner, etc. The best thing you can do is what Jesus did - speak against the sin, but also show care for the sinner. |
D-SIPL Moderator Posts: 1345 From: Maesteg, Wales Registered: 07-21-2001 |
Whoever said christians should not drink alcohol is a fool... didn't Jesus drink wine. I go to raves and parties all of the time, but i go for the music, not the drink and drugs. And when i did all of that i didn't want people "bible bashing" me. The best thing you can do is be an example to others through the way you act... don't "talk the talk, but walk the walk!!". Don't worry about your sister, she'll eventually realise that the only thing that feels the void in her life is God. I realised this and decided i wanted to go all out for God, i didn't want to be a wimpy little christian, but i wanted to make a difference. We will all be praying for you mate. --D-SIPL |
Angel Member Posts: 699 From: The Blissful State Of Me? Registered: 05-21-2001 |
Well I wouldnt go so far as to call one a fool. I do think that drinking is ok for alot of reasons but I dont agree with being drunk. In Ecclesiastes chapter 9 says that we should drink our wine and live happly with the woman we love for in all of our meninglis days of life our wife is a gift to us for all of our toil. Then Jesus said not to be drunk with wine. So it is simple wine is like many other things in our lives. You shouldnt be a glutten with it. Some people are gluttens with other things such as supping up there car. I have known some people that their car is all that they care about. Still I would not say that Oz is a fool. He just has some harsh openions at times. ------------------ |
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Klumsy Administrator Posts: 1061 From: Port Angeles, WA, USA Registered: 10-25-2001 |
people who say christians shouldn't drink alchohol are probably wise, not fools... people who insist that it is a sin to drink even a little alchohol are probably quite foolish.. The bible is against getting drunk... its a lack of self control and indulging the flesh, quite carnal indeed, and not the way of Christ, and many people can get addicted to it, and it can also lead people into greater tempation, and lets all flee from tempation.. sure the bible says some good stuff about wine... people often quote the NT when paul or somebody is telling another to drink a little wine for his health.. you also must understand that wine in the bible was not potent like the alchohol of today... if you wanted to get drunk you had to start in the morning and drink all day.. (thus scriptures talking of that).. I live in a culture, that is a beer culture.. drinking, getting drunk, being macho is what it is all about in the secular world here.. we drink so much, especially the young.. So here in New Zealand i choose not to drink at all (even though i have a quite high tolerance to alchohol) because if i drink i send out messages that drinking and getting drunk is ok (even if i am not getting drunk, its not like a can go aside and havea deep heart to heart explaination to everybody who sees me drink)... so i choose to be an example and not drink... However when i lived in China.. they drank only with food and not in excess... so i would often have one cold beer with my dinner (also because it was the only cold drink i could have... i had my water boiled and hot,as did everybody, in that culture , the drinking culture was very different and people rarely got drunk.. however even in there, it would not be wise for me just to use that an excuse to start pushing the limits of my soberness, one month having one glass of beer, the next another, the next getting tiddly at dinner once a week, the next going home tiddly after every meal - but it helps me sleep better i could say to myself.... one always has to be vigilant and careful ------------------ |
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MeanManInOz Member Posts: 388 From: Hobart, Tasmania, Australia Registered: 06-26-2001 |
>Whoever said christians should not drink alcohol is a fool... didn't Jesus drink wine. In the Greek, new wine ( i.e. unfermented ). The Bible is pretty clear on this - for starters the OT is full of scripture about kings and priests not drinking at all, and who are the kings and priests of this age ? It's not walking the walk to ignore when the Bible says to stay away from all appearance of evil, i.e. from situations where you can even falsley be accused of doing wrong. Don't worry about your sister, she'll eventually realise that the only thing that feels the void in her life is God. I realised this and decided i wanted to go all out for God, i didn't want to be a wimpy little christian, but i wanted to make a difference. That doesn't mean she will do the same. Everyone has a free will choice. As for the whole drink but don't get drunk thing I have three observations 1. You get drunk in increments - the first drink makes you as drunk as the last does, they just add up. 2. The Bible says above all things to avoid making a brother stumble. If someone is a reformed alcoholic, isn't it easier for them if you don't drink at all, even if you were allowed to ( and you're not, but for the sake of the discussion, this is another way in which the Bible says not to drink ). 3. Isn't it easier to tell people you don't drink, as opposed to you 'don't get drunk' ? The world is full of alcoholics who claim they have their drinking under control and don't get drunk. |
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Angel Member Posts: 699 From: The Blissful State Of Me? Registered: 05-21-2001 |
Well I was just voiceing my view point. I use wine to get rid of my pain for a time. It helps to numb me just a bit and any sort of relife is good for me. I dont drink openly eather. I do it in the comfert of my own home. Also if you wish to say I should take pills insted that is a bad way to go at it. I have been given 4 proscription pain killer pills and the pain didnt get any better for 4 hours and at that time I past out from crying. Wine also makes me drowsy so it is helpful to get me to bed. I only drink about once every 2 weeks when I cant take it any longer. I also know people who are missionaries and they say that one beer is good for you from time to time. Wine most sertenly is to help keep your hart clear. So I have a healthy dose but I do not get drunk. Infact its rare that I even get a buzz now adays. I will admit I was a drunk once when I was 19. I moved in with people who enjoyed weed and staling drinks from their places of work. After a week of that I realized that kind of life wasnt good for me and that God was deffently a better solution to my depression. Anyways could go on and on with my lifes story but I think thas enough from me for now. ------------------ |
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MeanManInOz Member Posts: 388 From: Hobart, Tasmania, Australia Registered: 06-26-2001 |
Well I was just voiceing my view point. I use wine to get rid of my pain for a time. It helps to numb me just a bit and any sort of relife is good for me. I dont drink openly eather. I do it in the comfert of my own home. 1. Does the alcohol get into your home by divine means, or do you go out and buy it Also if you wish to say I should take pills insted that is a bad way to go at it. I have been given 4 proscription pain killer pills and the pain didnt get any better for 4 hours and at that time I past out from crying. Wine also makes me drowsy so it is helpful to get me to bed. I only drink about once every 2 weeks when I cant take it any longer. I don't have any problem with you taking an asprin or panadol, but I as actually going to say you should pray about it. It sounds like you're in a bad way. I would still maintain the way to blessing is to do what the Bible says and not to seek a way out that is not Biblical. Let me add that my prayers are with you, it sounds like you need them. What's wrong ? I also know people who are missionaries and they say that one beer is good for you from time to time. I hope the rest of what they tell people is more based on the Bible than this piece of advice. I'm sure they are sincere, but at least in this, they are plain wrong. Any percieved medical benefit from any form of alcohol is IMO eclipsed by the benefit of following God and doing things His way. In fact its rare that I even get a buzz now adays. I will admit I was a drunk once when I was 19. I moved in with people who enjoyed weed and staling drinks from their places of work. After a week of that I realized that kind of life wasnt good for me and that God was deffently a better solution to my depression. Anyways could go on and on with my lifes story but I think thas enough from me for now. I can't begin to tell you how depressed I was before and during the time I thought I was a Christian, or the degree to which this immediately changed when I actually obeyed the Gospel and recieved the Holy Spirit, speaking in tongues. Have you recieved the Spirit since you believed ? |
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Angel Member Posts: 699 From: The Blissful State Of Me? Registered: 05-21-2001 |
The pain that I have has no cure other then God. It also has to do with a mental disorder I guess. I am very blunt with people and I tell them my view on alcohal. I hate drunks becase ive been around alot of them. I am no drunk nor do I have to have alcohal. Still to go on with this conversation is kinda pointliss for me and you. I bilive what I bilive and its just that simple. Im not going to change unless I am led by God. Also all the "Christians" if you want to call them that, that I am around agree with me in my view point on this. People from the age of 70 on back down. We all have strink rules about who is to drink. If you have a drinking problom and it controles your life then you shouldnt be around drinks at all. People under the age of 21 shouldnt be drinking becase it can stop there phisical and mental grouth that can only happen for them at the ages under 21. Anyways its been interesting  ------------------ |
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MeanManInOz Member Posts: 388 From: Hobart, Tasmania, Australia Registered: 06-26-2001 |
The pain that I have has no cure other then God. Absolutely. Still to go on with this conversation is kinda pointliss for me and you. I bilive what I bilive and its just that simple. Im not going to change unless I am led by God. The led by God thing is a cop out. You're led by the scriptures, if you choose to be. You also have your own free will to decide what you want to do. I'm sorry you want to end the discussion because it has become confronting, I am only saying these things because I suspect your pain is similar to my situation 11 years ago, which only makes me feel for you all the more and desire to see you set free. |
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Angel Member Posts: 699 From: The Blissful State Of Me? Registered: 05-21-2001 |
Oy the last thing it is, is confronting. Its more like it is boring. The reason im talking in so many diffrent subjects is from shear boardom. I am up 24/7 I just now got up at 2:44am with only about 2 hours worth of sleep maybe a little more. Thats alot of time. Much more then most normal people. My wife sleeps for 10 hours strait if she can and if she dosnt atleast get her 8 she gets cranky. Me I almost never get more then an hour or 2 worth of strait sleep. Then you can pop in my ability to get board with just about anything and you have it. The only reason Im reaplying to this subject is becase im talking about something other then what we were discusing. The only things that dont boar me to death are God, my wife, art, and writing. Even then I have a facter of getting board with all of them other then God. I am on a constent look out to do something new or try something new. Thats probably why I have so many games. I beat them within a week if they are good enough and then I move on to the next. Another reason I left this page for so long was becase I was board. Then I saw a chance to spark some things here that might keep me amused. Sorry to the rest of you people for putting that here but that is how I am. I like alot of you but I do get board of ya from time to time. I mean if im going to get board of my wife from time to time yall sertenly have less of a chance to keep me amused or interested in something. Still this is the longist ive hung around a place like this so you peeps can consider yourselfs pritty dang interesting. Oz I e-mailed you out of boardom as well if you want to know. Yes it is very interesting haveing you around so why wouldnt I invite someone interesting into a conversation. The I have a chance to write something like this witch can take up a good 15 minnits or so of my time and get rid of a bit of boardom. After this I could prosseed to endless hours of randomly enttering www. somethings just to pass the time. Trying everything from going all the way from 0 to 25. I did that a long time ago and have moved on to other things. Well im sure you get the point. Anyways im off to read what else I can get into on this site then im off to the next place I can pester this morning. ------------------ |