Krylar Administrator Posts: 502 From: MD, USA Registered: 03-05-2001 |
I'm not single, but I've got a few Christian friends who are but just haven't found that right person. What suggestions, other than DATE SOMEBODY!, would you recommend for them? Are those Christian singles sites worth checking into? Thanks! -Krylar |
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Ascent Member Posts: 64 From: Registered: 01-20-2001 |
I took most of my philosophies from "P***ion & Purity" by Elisabeth Eliot, and "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris. Please let me say, as someone who had an interest in, and prayed about a particular person for over 2 years, and only 11 days ago began courting this person, after no interest on her part for 2 years.... It was totally worth the wait!!!!!! I waited, I trusted in God, I sought counsel to keep my intentions and motives accountable and to make sure I was going about things the right way, and starting in July, things began to escalate as God began to change her heart, and now we're moving towards being engaged and then married. I would say -- as Paul said -- while you're single, it's good to take the time that you can and devote yourself fully to the Lord, and let Him work things out in His timing. This is a girl that I've gone to church with for about 4 years, and God put something in my heart a long time ago, which resulted in a lot of prayer on my part, while God prepared my heart (and life) as well as hers, and now those two years seem like no time at all -- because now I've got not only a Godly woman, not only the girl of my dreams, but she's crazy about me as well, and it all happened in God's timing. I'd say, stay away from the Christian single sites/things (for the purpose of finding dates, not like doing other things with single people in your church!) or any method of pursuing that sort of thing, and just pray. And pray and pray and pray. And trust God. And seek first the Kingdom, and His righteousness, and let all those (other) things be added to you by Him, in His time, in His wisdom. -Ascent |
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Krylar Administrator Posts: 502 From: MD, USA Registered: 03-05-2001 |
I printed this out and my buddy was really happy with what you said  Said it gave him hope. Thanks! -Krylar |
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Ascent Member Posts: 64 From: Registered: 01-20-2001 |
Cool. Glad I could help. :-) I think the thing to remember is this... Joshua Harris talks about this in his book (I Kissed Dating Goodbye) -- it's a story told by someone else... A little boy had a bag of marbles and offered to trade that bag with a little girl for her bag of candy. The little girl agreed. When the little boy got home from school that day and got out his bag of marbles for the next day, he realized there were 3 or 4 that he just couldn't part with. So he, rather deceptively, took those out and hid them under his pillow, and the next day gave the bag of marbles to the little girl (without telling her anything) and got the bag of candy from her. That night, the little girl slept just fine, but one question went through the little boy's mind over and over again: "I wonder if she kept her best candy?" If we don't wait on God and just marry who seems convenient, or who we're dating when we're "around that age that people get married" which is typically considered in the 20's somewhere... then chances are, you're not getting God's best. You're not even getting your best, you're getting your best convenience! And the difference between what's available, comfortable and convenient and God's very best for you (which is what He wants), is the difference between owning a "Hot Wheels" Ferrari, and the real thing. Most of the young/single people in my church, from the youth group to the college age people and on up, don't tend to date. Why? There's no restriction or anything imposed... it's just that people recognize the harm that dating can do, and typically does. For one, if you get physically involved with someone, to any degree, the ties that bind you to that person become much much stronger. And what's the basic premise of dating? It would seem to be this: "I'll go out with you for as long as: 1) it's fun, 2) I love you, 3) it's not difficult and I don't have to change, 4) the chemistry is there" -- Well... if someone dates say 15 or 20 people throughout the course of high school and college... and follows that pattern, with one person or the other breaking off the relationship after it's no longer fun or it's no longer easy or they just don't "feel it" anymore... what happens to that person when they get married? Typically, the way the world works and even the church, often, is they marry the person they're with when they're in their early 20's, and maybe they've been together for a few years... but... When the marriage is no longer fun or easy or the feelings aren't what they initially were (and all of these things will happen over the course of a marriage) the tendency is, "well, it's been fun, I gotta find someone else that puts that fun/love/feeling back into my life" -- it's no longer "til death do us part" but more along the lines of "as long as I'm having a good time" -- and I think that dating is a major cause of that. Divorce wasn't as rampant in society or the church when courting and courtship were more common. (Dating is a recent development in societies) So, for those reasons, and a few others (like I didn't want God's second best, or my first choice -- I wanted God's best, which would be immensely better than my first choice) I left the decisions up to God and decided that, as Paul said, it's better to serve God wholeheartedly when you're single and not seek to be married. -Ascent |
Veritech Member Posts: 208 From: Lockport, NY Registered: 01-20-2001 |
Ok, i cant add alot to this, other than my older brothers relationship. I personally am single. About my Brother ^_^. My brother has never believed in dating, only in holy courtship. About 3 years ago, when my brother was in a church service, and i belive on the floor after an alter call, God told him Exactly who he was supposed to marry. He had been praying for a wife for awhile, and waiting on God, and not seeing anyone. So when he heard this he was very excited. When he got home, he told us what had happened. The familly was quite happy for him. Unfortunatly, when he talked to the woman who God had said he was going to marry, she utterly rejected the idea. They were both youth pastors at the time. Well they stayed friends, and after a long period of time, about 2 years, she finnally admitted God had told her the same thing, around the same time as my brother. She was afraid to make a commitment then, because of hurt in her past. But since my brother was faithful in waiting, God changed her heart over time, and They now have been happily married for 6 months. The moral of that story is if God promises you something, don't stop beliveing that God will deliver. Hope this testimony helps someone. Veritech |
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Krylar Administrator Posts: 502 From: MD, USA Registered: 03-05-2001 |
That's a great testimony. I'll share this with my still-single pal to give him some hope! -Krylar |
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Higher Junior Member Posts: 7 From: Registered: 01-20-2001 |
There are some of us who are, well good looking challenged. Like me all muscles but down right unattractive in some peoples eyes that is. I prayed that God would help me find someone just to have as a companion and do stuff with like go to the movies or rock climbing with and he did. It took some time but if your shy like me chances are that if you pray the right person will fall into place. If it is in Gods will that is. |