Game Design Music and Art

Poetry by The Bard (Please evaluate) – Ereon

Ereon

Member

Posts: 1018
From: Ohio, United States
Registered: 04-12-2005
Here is a poem I wrote today, just thought I'd run it by your guys. I took it up as a hobby to spice up my storytelling (and hense my game design as well). I've written a few bits of story here and there, as well as a few more poems, I'll post them if you like, but please check this one out first though and tell me what you think.

Fantasy
By:The Bard

Wrapped in imagination's thrall
A world beyond the granite wall
Defying death and absolute
Imagination's endless loop

An endless sphere of realms unseen
A endless realm of dreams undreamed
A thousands worlds stretched into shade
Unseen, undiscovered, and still unmade

Heart beats roll
And cold wind blows
As through the door a warm light glows
Beyond the black granite of drear reality
A new, fresh breath of new life breathes

Gone are shades of a thousand greys
Thump and grind of endless day
The mind is free to run away
Beyond the wall through door's warm glow
Escape the loop and real life's hold

Into the glittering crystal sphere of realms unseen
To find new destiny in midst of dream
New tales to be told, new songs to be made
Free the heart on wings to fly
As from its birth it was so bade

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Lava
Member

Posts: 1905
From:
Registered: 01-26-2005
I like it!

Keep up the good work, will be glad to see more!

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buddboy

Member

Posts: 2220
From: New Albany, Indiana, U.S.
Registered: 10-08-2004
wow... great! keep up the great work!! hey, are you a teenager? if you are, i have a blog for teenagers to put poems. i would love to have yours on there. if you are interested, i can post it for you. you could be like a writer for a newspaper, if you have one, give it to me and i will put it on. but this is all up to you. btw, GREAT POEM!!

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In the stock market, you must buy high and sell low...Wait! That's not right!
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Yes, I can be intelligent at times!!

Ereon

Member

Posts: 1018
From: Ohio, United States
Registered: 04-12-2005
Yes I am, I've got a few more, alot of which are a good bit better than that one. I'll gladly post them here and then you can copy them over to your blog if you like. Just please put them under my pseudonym (The Bard). Here are a few more I wrote.

Chivalry is Dead
By: The Bard

Knight in armor, silver gilded
Set upon a charging steed
A glittering sword so strongly wielded
The marks of ancient chivalry

Respect for others
Love for land
To defend those weaker as your brothers
To fight for right with strength of hand

Have these things all passed away
Lost time to and memory
Our hearts are dark, our motives fey
And the cup of honor now so empty

Where are the knights of olden lore
Where are the strong, the noble, and wise
Alas, alas, they are no more
The world has woven their demise

Still from the ashes there may arise
One of their kind who shakes his head
Awakes again from shadow and lies
And says “Once again this knight will rise.”


Shadows
By: The Bard

Shadowed faces, garbled voice
Storm tossed visions of failures past
Biting, cutting like shards of ice
Trying my sanity to its last

Cowled face leering
Red eyed devils
My own self peering
See my life, rancid with evil

A shattered sphere
The broken hull
All is fear
And my being is null

A thousand crystal coffins
Each a fond held memory
Dropped and missing, now forgotten
Broken, gone, now so empty

A moment captured, now is wasted
A life once vibrant now extinguished
All is sadness, hope is pasted
Like a whitewashed mask on a life now ended

A ray of hope I sorely seek
A light, a joy to quicken me
A caring soul of flesh to meet
To fight for me on bended knee


Lark’s Song
By: The Bard

The lark’s fair song has ceased to be
Now ice cold dark soliloquy
On spring’s fair wind it longed to soar
Now joy and beauty are no more

If sky could sing so fair a song
His face would not be stretched so long
So o’er the lark’s fair song still it will fawn
And awaits its rise at spring’s fair dawn


The Cat and the Bursar
By: Zachary Taylor

A cat and a bursar were walking one day
Down a long forest road, well paved and green
They walked without speaking
Their eyes ahead set
And each looked away from the other

Oh Mother
Oh Brother

A long road they walked
And long did they walk
And each looked away from the other

So onward they walked and the cat he did purr
“I say sir,” said he
“I pray thee to please,”
“Think thou ill not of me”
“I do say dear sir, I must say dear sir, that I believe thee to indeed be my brother,”

Oh bother
Why bother

Long on the green forest road they did walk
And the cat thought the bursar his brother

“Dear cat,” said the man
“I could not be thy brother”
“For thy mother and mine weren’t same”
“Therefore dear sir, impossible it is”
“Thee and I simply cannot be brothers”

L’arn him
Darn him

Foolish old man on the forest road green
He thought not that the cat was his brother.

“I see now dear bursar that your words, they ring true”
“An impossibility, indeed not even a fluke”
“Could relate you to me, a dis-enthroned Duke”
“Oh well my dear sir, I must remain on, and seek for my long lost brother.

Darn it
Consarn it

A long, long time the cat he had searched
And still he could not find his brother

“Well well friend cat, why dids’t thou not say that ye were but a dis-enthroned Duke?”
“Well yes, ye are my dear brother indeed, for he was, himself, a great duke”
“Hail and well met my dear, long lost brother, now where does thy fair castle lie?”

Licked him
Tricked him

The foolish old bursar, so crafty and old knew not that the small cat had tricked him.

“You lie through your teeth oh dear brother of mine”
“One way ye say nay, and the other say yea”
“Your first words indeed, they are the most true, our mothers, so different they are”
“And to those first words I hold you indeed, and they snag you like winter’s last briars.”

Le fin
The End

With a wave of the cat’s paw the poor bursar did squeak, and a mouse he did soon become
With a swift and firm pounce the small cat, he caught, and then, he did eat the poor bursar


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[This message has been edited by Ereon (edited January 13, 2006).]

[This message has been edited by Ereon (edited January 13, 2006).]

Ereon

Member

Posts: 1018
From: Ohio, United States
Registered: 04-12-2005
I've got a few more, but they're mostly ones I was made to make on a certain subject, they're not as good.

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buddboy

Member

Posts: 2220
From: New Albany, Indiana, U.S.
Registered: 10-08-2004
whoa!! great!! cool!!i am not gonna use them all at once, so i may need to bookmark this page and come back to it... but then again it only bookmarks the main page doesn't it? ah well...

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In the stock market, you must buy high and sell low...Wait! That's not right!
--------------
Yes, I can be intelligent at times!!

bennythebear

Member

Posts: 1225
From: kentucky,usa
Registered: 12-13-2003
you've got talent .

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proverbs 17:28
Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.

proverbs 25:7
open rebuke is better than secret love.

www.gfa.org - Gospel for Asia

www.persecution.com - Voice of the Martyrs

Ereon

Member

Posts: 1018
From: Ohio, United States
Registered: 04-12-2005
I really prefer stories to poems, and I write those alot better. I've got a story I might post later, but it needs alot of revision before I release it to the public eye.

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buddboy

Member

Posts: 2220
From: New Albany, Indiana, U.S.
Registered: 10-08-2004
i remember this one story i wrote when i was in like 4th grade, and it was about this game that i still have and really like... it was an RTS and i was trying to submit it to the game's website because they had some fan-fiction thing and it was supposed to be battle stories... but it never worked out... i don't even know if i still have that story!!

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In the stock market, you must buy high and sell low...Wait! That's not right!
--------------
Yes, I can be intelligent at times!!

Eternal_Happy_Dragon

Junior Member

Posts: 6
From: Pensacola, Florida, USA
Registered: 01-17-2006
Man, taht is some good stuff!! Do you mind if I write a song with my band for it? It sounds really good!!

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The fiends have gagged a generation of pacified fools,
Bound by our greed a nation enslaved as corporate tools,
Arise and raze the legacy of their lives,
And realize that this in itself is an ascension,
Towards the day we revolt

Ereon

Member

Posts: 1018
From: Ohio, United States
Registered: 04-12-2005
All yours.

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buddboy

Member

Posts: 2220
From: New Albany, Indiana, U.S.
Registered: 10-08-2004
well, i hadn't been able to work on my blog for a while, but i just put your first poem on Ereon!! Check it out at http://teenagepoems.blogspot.com !!

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In the stock market, you must buy high and sell low...Wait! That's not right!
--------------
Yes, I can be intelligent at times!!

Ereon

Member

Posts: 1018
From: Ohio, United States
Registered: 04-12-2005
I noticed that some of the others are kinda of messed up in formattting. I'll fix them real quick and repost them. That's a nice site, good work on it, I hope you get some comments posted soon.

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buddboy

Member

Posts: 2220
From: New Albany, Indiana, U.S.
Registered: 10-08-2004
huh?
how are they messed up?
lemme check...

i don't see anything wrong...

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In the stock market, you must buy high and sell low...Wait! That's not right!
--------------
Yes, I can be intelligent at times!!

[This message has been edited by buddboy (edited January 18, 2006).]

Ereon

Member

Posts: 1018
From: Ohio, United States
Registered: 04-12-2005
Ok, must just be a format issue on my end.

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