K so here is an excript from a story.
*******************
A building burst into flames! Then a young man and girl run out of its burning doors. “Dang it! Bri why the bloody hell did you do that?” The young man yelled at the girl over the blaze and crashing. “I didn’t do a thing Angel. I only taught that pig headed man what manners are.” Angel slouches over hanging his head. “Don’t you think blasting the whole building, nearly us too, and everyone else in there was a bit much?” Bri looks at Angel insanely with tears starting to form and says, “I didn’t mean to”. Bri then drops to the ground with her head down and begins to cry. Angel kneels down and puts his hand gently under her chin. She looks up at him. Angel smiles then says, “Come on don’t cry. I was just a little upset but its ok. Just next time try to only blow up the guy.” Bri smiles back at him and jumps too her feet. “OK! Lets get going!” she yells with joy. Angel stands up drops his shoulders back and then looks up into the blazing sky. He inhales deeply then says “Oh great now where are we going”? Bri grabs Angel’s hand then yanks him running down the street and out of town. “I don’t care where we go as long as we don’t stop and you’re with me!” she says why dragging Angel into the night.

“Sure is dark out here in the woods.” Angel says trying to figure out what or even where Bri had dropped him. Then a small flash appears in front of him. There next to some sticks, Angel sees Bri starting a fire. “So you decided it was a good time to take a break?” Angel asks in a rough voice. Bri replies with a simple “mmhmm” and then reaches for her backpack. Angel covers his eyes and Bri throws a small white package onto the little flame that is barely in the pile of sticks. Another big flash appears in the dark forest scaring every creature near it. The flame now a fire Bri kicks back and gets ready to sleep. Angel uncovers his face, takes a look around him, and then raises his eyebrows rolling his eyes. “Well at least I know that nothing is near us for about a mile.” Angel says while taking off his trench coat. He lays it over himself for a cover and then finds himself in a predicament. Bri jumps right on top of him yelling “What is that supposed to mean and why are you acting like this!” Angel holds her still, sighs and says calmly “I care about you I just don’t want you hurt”. Bri hugs Angel and then hops back over to her spot. “So you ready to go to sleep?” Angel asks. “Yup… zzzzz” Bri mumbles as she falls asleep. Angel then gets up and steps over to where she is sleeping. He puts his coat over her and then goes back to his tree. He leans up against it thinking to himself “She is so fiery… yet so sweet. Well I better try to get some rest”. Angel then closes his eyes and later falls to sleep.

The sun starts to shine through the woods and birds start to sing. Angel wakes up to see Bri still asleep. Angel starts to think to himself again “When did this all start. I know it’s only been about a month but it feels so much longer. We met and now we are never apart. Hmm look at her just sleeping there so beautifully”. Bri jumps to her feet with her fist in the air yelling “SHUT UP YOU STUPID BIRDS!” Angel falls to the right of the tree in astonishment. Bri then sees Angel on the ground and rushes over to him. She starts to shake him and says “Angel can I blow them up please, please, please, please”? Angel still in astonishment says to her “Yah… Sure whatever you want heh”. Bri then drops him and stands to her feet again. “Watch out you stupid birds when I find you I’m going to blow you up!” after saying this Bri burst into laughter. Birds go flying out of the forest carrying their nest. Then you here Bri’s voice yelling “Come on Angel we still have a long way to go!”

Angel and Bri then walk out onto a path going threw the woods. Bri walking in front of Angel starts a conversation “So aren’t you a bit curios as to where we are going?” Angel looking around the forest while walking answers “Well I am but I don’t really care that much, Just as long as it has nothing to do with relatives”. Bri then hangs her head a little “Your still upset about my cousin and that incident with the house blowing up”? Angel then replies, “Well it wouldn’t have been that bad meeting someone related to you but you didn’t tell me the guy aggravated you so much”. “Well it didn’t cross my mind. I haven’t seen him in about a year or two.” Bri says while walking backwards looking at Angel. “Well this has nothing to do with a relative right Bri?” Angel now looking straight into Bri’s eyes. She closes hers and says “It has nothing to do with a relative I promises”. Angel then looks at the road ahead and sees a sign. He begins to read it out loud “Stivils… Oh great the mad mans town, we don’t have any business here do we Bri”? Bri turns around and calmly says, “We don’t have anything to do in this town”.

Bri and Angel walk into a town with only ten or twelve buildings. A sign with INN on it is hanging from a two-story house. “Well I guess we can stay there for the day.” Bri says hoping Angel wont get the idea. Angel then walks in front of Bri and looks about and then turns to her. “Ok you say we don’t have business in this town, so my question is why are we spending time here?” Angel asks Bri with a stern look. Bri looks up into the sky and says to Angel “This place is nice and we have been walking for a long time”. Angel then turns towards the inn and says, “Well if we are going to stay there lets check in and get some sleep”. Bri then runs up next to him grabs his arm and puts her head on it. “Your so sweet Angel.” Bri says while they walk into the inn. Angel looks down at her and starts to think to himself “She has something in mind but what”? An old man behind the front desk lifts his head and asks “Will you two be spending the night”? Angel replies, “Yes we need a room with two seperate beds”. “Your that mad with your wife?” the old man says. Angel looks at the man with a frustrated face and says “Look we are not married we are just good friends so bagger off and get us our room”. The old man jumps up and gets the key to the room. He then puts it on the desk in front of Angel.

Angel then takes the key and walks off with Bri. While walking up the staircase Bri asks Angel “Why where you so mad with that guy”? Angel then stops for a moment and says “I’m sick of having to explain that at every inn. It’s just safer to stay in the same room. There are so many thieves about now a days… not to mention the other problems we have to side step all the time”. Bri smiles and replies “Ok, just wandering”. Bri and Angel then continue to there room to rest.
******************

I know long read so cry about it! Its a story about my wife and I. *yes it is fantisy* anyways I have tuns and tuns of storyline done. Some is for games and some I did for me. What you just read was for me but could easly be put into a game story. Anyways im frustrated in a big way right now. I have a progressing story right now that is probably a 100 Xs bigger then what you just read. I have that and still I dont really have anything else. The guy who is supost to do the programming is bizzy in school and thats just fine. Still I really could use alot of concept art and or modoles being done. (ya ya ya Angel just keep complaing)

So then aside from that im upset cuz I cant let anyone really read the longer story cuz some fool is going to probably try and steal it. I mean I posted just 10 drawings on the net and I almost instently had someone tell me if I didnt keep posting new drawings he was going to sue me for some crazy reason. K so why did I post this? I have no real clue... I had free time maybe? Oh I know something I could get out of this. What do you peeps think of the story? I have alot more. Some short, 1 that is long, and the one im working on that is really long. Oh and dont give me the story was going no were cuz it was. We was going to bust someone out of the nut house and then he was going to lead us to this cave with big tresure in it and we was going to wake up a d... no more for you I dont want to make up the rest of the story right now.

Need a space again Dont you just love them run ons and ons and ons.

If I got a laugh out of you with that story tell me will ya. If you got anything out of it tell me. I could really use some encaragement here ya know.

------------------
Peaza Cheez Mates!
Azariah "Angel"

Oh well I'm a brave one
yes Angel, I know - I've been very busy.. just right now I *should* be finishing up my GameBoy Advance Music engine.. heheheh I will do that in a bit

Other than that - interesting story - I don't know if I like or not though

My question is - why do you like blowing up things sooo much
hahaha - well I better get to work

cya

------------------
Stephen / GODCENTRIC Christian Demoscene

You ask why I like blowing this up so much? Its really simple actuly. I like characters with profound personalities. I think I am one, I am moody and very blunt, I really dont like people who are grown ups for the most part, I have a huge weekness for kids however, I also like to discribe things in ways that others wish I wouldnt but they get a laugh out of it anyways.

Other characteristics are...

people that enjoy suffering

characters that get attached to people easly

people who will only bilive that everyone can be good

people that are quite and make odd comments every now and again to be a nusens

characters that are obsested with things such as food or gems

characters that have lots of flaws and hate having them pointed out

characters that brag so much that it is funny how much they really bilive themselfs

Anyways for many of these characters blowing things up is a simple sulotion to getting to some stuf. Gems are in the ground so blow it up. A guy says your a fat pig, blow him up. Someone points out that your sand castle looks like a tree stump and theres looks like camulot, blow up there castle. you need food so blow up the water and get some fish. A character hates all things... what is a good solution hmmm blow up their homes.

In short blowing things up is a very flexabul solution for good and bad things. For me it is good for leveing a mark in a town so that they are hacked with you and never want you back.

I think the story would have been better with alot of pics to go with it to illistrate things. However I only wanted to write that one not draw everything for it. So for a short story I think its ok but it needs pix.

Thanks for replying... I thought everyone was scared off by my complaint comment

------------------
Peaza Cheez Mates!
Azariah "Angel"

well, yes pictures would be nice, but I kinda have a mental image of what it would look like - I said I'm not entirely sure if I like it or not so I'll elaborate a bit.

First off, you have an incredible ability to write involving stories.. stories that once you start reading you just can't stop (pringles! ooo) - I like the level of detail you use and also the added descriptions to clarify purpose. Purpose is important

Other than that I see about your liking of profound personalities I think that your personalities are rather exaggurated at times - the main thing that makes me unsure about whether I like it or not is the theme.
It's interesting to read about ficticious things but this story is both involving and a little disturbing in my opinion. Not that that's a bad thing - as in games normally to captivate a player's interest, disturbing things do happen

I admire your ability to come up with things like these, and though I'm sure stories come as easlily to you as code comes to me (which isn't always easy.. it can be hard to code at times), the world is a much better place having creative abilities in all fields.

Unique personalities are good too - as they do tend to be more interesting and keep a readers attention - some of those personalities are a bit disturbing too but that goes along with what I said earlier.

*yawn* well I'm running out of ideas, and I know at least for me when I started reading that story, I just had to finish it -- then again I was planning to anyhow... hehe

Keep up the good work !

------------------
Stephen / GODCENTRIC Christian Demoscene

[This message has been edited by sgstair (edited February 01, 2002).]

------------------
Peaza Cheez Mates!
Azariah "Angel"

†Caleb†

------------------
"True friendship is not characterized by the absence of conflict, but by the ability to resolve conflict."

Thanks for the post, sorry you didnt like it.

------------------
Peaza Cheez Mates!
Azariah "Angel"

So how about a brief summary of the whole story ?

------------------
Rowan / GODCENTRIC Christian Demoscene

Again thanks.

------------------
Peaza Cheez Mates!
Azariah "Angel"

g o o d n i g h t

------------------
Peaza Cheez Mates!
Azariah "Angel"

So as I said befor this story is alot of notes really out of real life. I will start from the bigginning and head on down. In the first parigraphe we have a bilding blow up and a girl named Bri crying becase a guy named Angel got upset. These are not just random events but recalled situwations. My wife is an emotional person and that cries durring movies and of corss gets upset if I even apear to be mad with her. Pouting and cring are things that she does to get to my soft side if you ask me. Often I can get a smile out of her right away by telling her to stop faking it or that I love her.

She also dosnt like people being mean to her that are not me. Someone can say something incorect and she will get up and leave right there. I was not exadurating about the blowing up. In the back of her head im sure she had plunty to blow up about. So I was simply illistrating that for a grand opening. She also likes to drag me into alot of things im not interested in at first but most of the time am later. Such as movies.

Now then lets go on to the birds. Why blow up the birds? Well I think I did answer this a bit further up but I will go over it again in more detal I hope. When my wife was young a pet bird attacked a baby of someones that she knew. She now hates them beyond anything. I dont like birds becase unlike in cartoons they dont sing. They randomly tweet and are very anoing when you have a flock of them over your house aimlissly tweeting. They are also next to totaly useless. People say they hate bats and love birds. Birds have the exact same function and if it wasnt for the fethers and sleeping in caves they are almost the same thing. In my openion the only good birds are chickens after they are dead and on my plate well cooked. So that was not a random act of violence towards birds. It was a deliburet act of violence towords animels that keep us from good rest. Anyways this was a good chace yet again for some off the wall humor. Everyone who knows us and has read it has found it very humorus.

Now later on my Character gets angry with someone who is human. Well the reason for that is becase the old geezer asumed to much. It was a subject that later exsplaned in the story had been coverd way to many times and was overly obvius. Also the Angel is blunt and wants things to be clear. He was also frustrated over staying in the town and having to be suspicius that Bri was giving him creative truth telling again.

So I gave you a story that was really an inside joke Now I have let you inside. Hope it makes more sence now. If you have any more C&C's or just Q's by all means throw them out.

Dang my fingers are numb. That tells you how cold it is in my house all the time. Im blessed that im not sick off my tail.

K im off...

------------------
Peaza Cheez Mates!
Azariah "Angel"

Where does she get the power to literally blow things up? Does she have some sort of magic or is she a pyrotechnician?

†Caleb†

------------------
"True friendship is not characterized by the absence of conflict, but by the ability to resolve conflict."

------------------
Peaza Cheez Mates!
Azariah "Angel"

I think the story was quite good, and everything made sence. Random events are confusing on paper, but in a cartoon, spontinuity is what creats the humor. And therefore, you simply have to imagine it happening in a cartoon.

Also take into account that Bri seems to be younger, and inexperienced with bomobs, and therefore makes the charges bigger then she means. Also look at the world with cartoon rules that blown up things only char as a rule, and dont die that much. And i understand the distaste for birds. there ok sometimes, but generally they just like to make a mirad of noise.

Well, i think this ones good as a comic, but the main story of our game outdoes it about 20X (outdoes it in overall details, with a swarm of characters, and a massive world to play in), so i cant wait till we can show it off. In case it was not known, I am the games systems guy: the person who does all the things about the game world that are non story, and still text. like statistics, actions, weapons, equipment, skills, ect.

Hey Stephen, glad to here your busy with stuff, hope you do well in college. We know your busy, and so are we ^_^

Thats enough mumbling for this conversation, at least from me.

God Bless You All,
Veritech

------------------
"If you even breathe a word of what you've heard here, I hope Gandalf will turn you into a spotted toad, and fill the garden full of grass-snakes" - "Fellowship of the Ring" by JRR Tolkien (p91)

------------------
Peaza Cheez Mates!
Azariah "Angel"