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Abstract: A short story – lava

Lava
Member

Posts: 1905
From:
Registered: 01-26-2005
“Abstract”

There I was… in this room, it was a blank room, it was all white and nothing in there, I couldn’t even remember what happened before I came here, or even who I was. There were no doors at all, just walls, I looked around in that prison. I was stumped, confused… I sat down. I just sat there, then a door opened in the wall… Out of the door, a tray of food came out; the tray was on wheels, as soon as it rolled far enough away from the door, the door closed… I raced to the wall and banged on it, but after the door closed already, when it closed there was no sign that there was even a door, no cracks or anything, it was just like the other walls. In frustration I pound on the wall and screamed out “Let me out of HERE!” I pound on it as hard as I could, but it didn’t help me… so I fell down to the ground weeping, so I walked over to the tray of food and ate it, it was my favorite food, steak and corn on the cob, and there was even a knife and fork, and I ate the food greedily… After I ate it all, the tray disappeared. Soon I became tired, but there was no bed. I plopped on the ground, weary, wanting to go home even if I didn’t remember what happened before, but I knew I wasn’t supposed to be in there, then a bed appeared. So I thought I could use it to break down the walls with it, but I so tired I thought I could try the next day, that’s if I was still in there, so I went to sleep…
The next day I woke up, I was not tired at all, but I sat in there in bed and looked, I was hungry, and there was a plate, with my favorites things for breakfast, bacon, and pancakes and there even grape juice, my favorite drink for breakfast. So I got up and went to go eat it, but as soon as I got up from the bed it disappeared, but I ate the food, since I knew I couldn’t use now, until when it was nighttime. Later, I ran up to the wall and banged it; I believe I hurt my hand more than I did any damage to the wall. I just sat down… I cried… then I pleaded, “Please… let me out.” I put my head down, behind me cracks that formed started to appear, I got up and turned around, I walked up to where the cracks where and I pushed on it and it was door, I walked out to the outside world, and I looked back, there was no sign of door or room or anything, and I remembered where I was, I was waiting for the bus on the sidewalk, to go to where I worked, and it looked as if time didn’t even move the time I was in there, I remembered the incident, but I never knew how, or what had happened, or who, but I went on with my life, but I never forgot it, and I never forgot what I learned…

Copyrighted Nick Lanni

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crazyishone

Member

Posts: 1685
From:
Registered: 08-25-2004
i'll tell you what happened. you took the blue pill. coward.

lol, interesting story.

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Jari

Member

Posts: 1471
From: Helsinki, Finland
Registered: 03-11-2005
Interesting story indeed, how did you come up with that?
It's kinda like prospect...

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There are many devices in a man's heart; nevertheless the counsel of the LORD, that shall stand.
- Pro 19:21
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
- Pro 3:5

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Realm Master

Member

Posts: 1971
From: USA
Registered: 05-15-2005
hmm... good read! I like that a lot!

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(yes, i know im stupid)

Blessed are those who suffer for doing what is right.
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Here's all the comments!

kiwee

Member

Posts: 578
From: oxfordshire, england
Registered: 04-17-2004
hmmm...well, it is interesting...yeah, there are quite a few punctuationary gramatical and spelling mistakes. Other then that...It isn't the most climatic peice i have ever read...But it was good.

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buddboy

Member

Posts: 2220
From: New Albany, Indiana, U.S.
Registered: 10-08-2004
yah like kiwee said, and with run-on sentences... but that's the grammatical nit-picker in me, it was a great story!!

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In the stock market, you must buy high and sell low...Wait! That's not right!
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Yes, I can be intelligent at times!!

kiwee

Member

Posts: 578
From: oxfordshire, england
Registered: 04-17-2004
sorry, I am also a gramatical nit-picker :P

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QuestLeader

Member

Posts: 629
From: My house, Va, USA
Registered: 04-20-2005
Well... me too -_-. My grandmother was a high school english teacher, so I blame her for it, lol. But anyway, good story! I liked it ~_^. You did use the word "but" to many times though.

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buddboy

Member

Posts: 2220
From: New Albany, Indiana, U.S.
Registered: 10-08-2004
yah, i just like english... funny... plus i read A LOT (and i mean a lot) so i take in a lot of grammar, and so i like it to be good grammar and everything, except for when i am online, but only on a forum or chatting or email... unless somebody posts something to sit there and read (like lava's story) that was worked on and is... hard to explain, but when it's a story or an article... oh, btw, i hope you are enjoying my articulated description of how i work lol!!

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In the stock market, you must buy high and sell low...Wait! That's not right!
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Yes, I can be intelligent at times!!

luke

Member

Posts: 311
From: I use your computer as my second Linux box
Registered: 10-30-2005
interesting, but confusing story... confusing as in why you were in there and what you learned..

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oops, did I type in the wrong margin?

Lava
Member

Posts: 1905
From:
Registered: 01-26-2005
He always fought the imprisoners and never was released, until he asked to be released and he was. He basically learned "Ask and you shall receive".

Hope that helps

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