Lava Member Posts: 1905 From: Registered: 01-26-2005 |
“Abstract” There I was… in this room, it was a blank room, it was all white and nothing in there, I couldn’t even remember what happened before I came here, or even who I was. There were no doors at all, just walls, I looked around in that prison. I was stumped, confused… I sat down. I just sat there, then a door opened in the wall… Out of the door, a tray of food came out; the tray was on wheels, as soon as it rolled far enough away from the door, the door closed… I raced to the wall and banged on it, but after the door closed already, when it closed there was no sign that there was even a door, no cracks or anything, it was just like the other walls. In frustration I pound on the wall and screamed out “Let me out of HERE!” I pound on it as hard as I could, but it didn’t help me… so I fell down to the ground weeping, so I walked over to the tray of food and ate it, it was my favorite food, steak and corn on the cob, and there was even a knife and fork, and I ate the food greedily… After I ate it all, the tray disappeared. Soon I became tired, but there was no bed. I plopped on the ground, weary, wanting to go home even if I didn’t remember what happened before, but I knew I wasn’t supposed to be in there, then a bed appeared. So I thought I could use it to break down the walls with it, but I so tired I thought I could try the next day, that’s if I was still in there, so I went to sleep… Copyrighted Nick Lanni ------------------ |
crazyishone Member Posts: 1685 From: Registered: 08-25-2004 |
i'll tell you what happened. you took the blue pill. coward. lol, interesting story. ------------------ |
Jari Member Posts: 1471 From: Helsinki, Finland Registered: 03-11-2005 |
Interesting story indeed, how did you come up with that? It's kinda like prospect... ------------------ [VoHW] (Help needed) [Blog] - Truedisciple (mp3) |
Realm Master Member Posts: 1971 From: USA Registered: 05-15-2005 |
hmm... good read! I like that a lot! ------------------ Blessed are those who suffer for doing what is right. PM ME YOUR DESCRIPTION OF ME! ILL PUT IT HERE! |
kiwee Member Posts: 578 From: oxfordshire, england Registered: 04-17-2004 |
hmmm...well, it is interesting...yeah, there are quite a few punctuationary gramatical and spelling mistakes. Other then that...It isn't the most climatic peice i have ever read...But it was good. |
buddboy Member Posts: 2220 From: New Albany, Indiana, U.S. Registered: 10-08-2004 |
yah like kiwee said, and with run-on sentences... but that's the grammatical nit-picker in me, it was a great story!! ------------------ |
kiwee Member Posts: 578 From: oxfordshire, england Registered: 04-17-2004 |
sorry, I am also a gramatical nit-picker :P |
QuestLeader Member Posts: 629 From: My house, Va, USA Registered: 04-20-2005 |
Well... me too -_-. My grandmother was a high school english teacher, so I blame her for it, lol. But anyway, good story! I liked it ~_^. You did use the word "but" to many times though. ------------------ |
buddboy Member Posts: 2220 From: New Albany, Indiana, U.S. Registered: 10-08-2004 |
yah, i just like english... funny... plus i read A LOT (and i mean a lot) so i take in a lot of grammar, and so i like it to be good grammar and everything, except for when i am online, but only on a forum or chatting or email... unless somebody posts something to sit there and read (like lava's story) that was worked on and is... hard to explain, but when it's a story or an article... oh, btw, i hope you are enjoying my articulated description of how i work lol!! ------------------ |
luke Member Posts: 311 From: I use your computer as my second Linux box Registered: 10-30-2005 |
interesting, but confusing story... confusing as in why you were in there and what you learned.. ------------------ |
Lava Member Posts: 1905 From: Registered: 01-26-2005 |
He always fought the imprisoners and never was released, until he asked to be released and he was. He basically learned "Ask and you shall receive". Hope that helps ------------------ |