From: The Blissful State Of Me?
|I was reading some of the really old post and this one, http://www.christiancoders.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/000028.html got my attention. Klumsy asked to hear my testimony at the time. He also said to keep up the growing. After reading it I relized something. Ive grown in some places and in others there has been no change.
*No Change Things*
From: Gresham, OR, US
It's always encouraging to hear about Christians growing in their walk. I'd post on this topic myself, but right now I don't have the time to get deep, 'cause I have homework. :P
|Very cool stuff bro!|
|This makes me think a little of my own testimony. I was an accident, and my mother believes I was a boy to spite her and allergic to her breast milk because I rejected her at birth. I was astounded to hear her tell me recently that she tried to get some sort of affection from her mother for years and stopped at the end of her teens. Guess what ?
Anyhow, I grew up with no love or physcial contact ( hugs &tc ) and basically thought it was because of me, that I was nothing. My father kicked me out of home when I left his church because they would not believe me that he hit my mother, and kept telling me garbage about how the devil lived in my CD's, while at the same time refusing to answer my sincere questions with more than (essentially ) shut up and do what we say.
The point is that I identify both with the low self esteem, and the hating of ones parents. In my case it was more my father, I was so much like my mother that I never hated her. However, it's my testimony that after 2 years of going to churches, when I finally became a Christian ( i.e. recieved the Holy Spirit, speaking in tongues ), all those things were healed in an instant. When I felt the love of God come into me, I knew that made me someone worth loving, because God loved me. And I knew I could not hold hate for anyone else after God had forgiven me and embraced me. Your testimony makes me think of how I tried to overcome those things in the love of the church, where the love of God was spoken of, but not preached. It leaves me wondering if you've recieved the Spirit since you've believed, and if maybe you're struggling in your own strength with something that God can solve for you in a moment.